Fifty Shades of Shame 

There are no words to explain how disappointed I am. My expectations were already low because every true romance novel, book lover knows the film is never comparable to the book. But this movie could possibly be the worst book adaptation ever. I mean EVER people!! The sad part is I really liked Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian and Ana's love story was twisted and unorthodox but it was love not just kinky sex. The first book shows Christian's rough side and his way of coping (hello SEX) but it sets up the next two books whereas the film focused on sex. Focus Features you wasted a whole lot of potential not to mention $40 million. Let's get it all out into the open. 

Chemical Imbalance 

First of all where was the heat? The chemistry between Dakota and Jamie was like waiting for a pot full of water to boil without turning the stove on. Book Ana and Christian couldn't stay away from one another, film Ana and Christian not so much. It was awkward, so very awkward. 

Plain Jane

Ana describes herself as a pale, brown-haired women with blue eyes too big for her face. She is described by Christian as beautiful, and alluring. Dakota's portrayal was slim, pal, scruffy and awkward. Anyone sensing a theme here? Dakota's a pretty girl why couldn't they have worked with that? Yes Ana should have been plain but she should have been naturally pretty and there was none of that. 

Mistakes

Not everything can be added in the adaptation I get that but there were a few key moments that were definitely missed. Ethan for one. How will Mia ever find love? How will Christian realize he's extremely possessive over Ana at graduation? Also Ana's break down in her room after the first spanking, when Kate yells at him and Christian realizes he cares for Ana more than just his sub. That's a key moment in the story he's breaking his own rules! What about all the times Ana and Christian sleep together in his bed, Ana only spent one night in the sub bedroom but it was in a whole other context. It also happened to be in a whole other book, Fifty Shades of Freed. Maybe the most important detail for the second and third book plot was over looked as well. Ana doesn't start her new job at SIP which means she doesn't meet Jack Hyde, who is the main antagonist in the next two books. How's that going to work out?

Complex Christian 

The biggest flaw by far is Christian's lack of character. At least Robert Patterson knew Edward wasn't just a sparkly immortal vampire. Christian is a haunted man who keeps his distance for fear of being hurt like he was once before. He lives his life the only way he knows will cover his pain, controlling his surroundings. Until he meets Ana. Throughout the first book Christian's hard exterior softens as he spends time with Ana, he starts to question everything he knows until he comes to terms with his feelings and love when Ana eventually leaves him. Jamie looked board, confused and maybe a wee bit angry, but that's about it.   

Wait one more thing! What's his name I can't remember? Who was Ana in love with again because I never caught his name, I don't think Ana said it enough times. Seriously Kelly Marcel? 

We should make a drinking game out of it!! It would sure make the experience a whole lot more enjoyable. 

To all my Fifty Shades fans, I'm beyond sorry. 

A.B.